While Jason and I don't subscribe to the Valentine's Day is For Losers Club, we still don't fully invest our time into lavishing the other with gifts every February 14th. We will surprise each other here and there with cute gifts to make the other smile, which is actually no different then any other time of the year. We are big believers in the: "I saw this and thought of you" or "I just wanted to come by and tell you I love you." Which is how our story begins.
The day was February 15th, this past Saturday. I was stuck working all weekend so my boss could have a romantic weekend he had been well over due for. Since Jason and I had no major plans for the weekend, I decided spending it earning a pay check was not the end of the world. After an epic failure of an attempt to get Jason something nice for his office on Friday, I was not in the best of moods. To cheer me up, he had left the party he was at so he could stop by and surprise me. One of those moments just to show me that he missed me. Having already had a stressful morning (our printer decided it hated me and proceeded to crash) I welcomed the visit. And . . . he brought me a green tea from Starbucks, or as I call it, that magical liquid that helps stop me from becoming The Hulk.
As it turns out, my good friend Kathy, had also decided to come visit me at the exact same time. This is one of the things I love about Kathy. We share the same birthday, and thus by that logic, almost share the same brain. Call it one of those twin things. We are Gemini's after all. As Kathy's Topher-sense (much like spidey-sense but way better) led her to me, it was like the fates had known what was about to occur.
Boston, Kathy's son, had begun doing the pee-pee dance that all kids instinctively know. My work is equipped with many things, but public bathroom is not one of them. Being the super gentlemen that he is, Jason offered to take Boston to Ono Hawaiian BBQ next door so he could "potty." This may seem like pointless information, but like any good narrator, I am painting a picture. As Kathy exited my store, purchase in hand, she watched Boston and Jason return from the bathroom.
(The following is a compilation of descriptions from all parties involved because I was inside working. This may be over dramatized, but I am not at liberty to say what is fact or an exaggeration.)
As Jason stepped onto the curb, Venti Iced Latte in hand, something grabbed a hold of his foot. It was like the earths gravitational pull had shifted into that spot, and would not allow Jason to dislodge his foot. By not being able to release said foot, his body was propelled forward by the sheer brisk pass he had previously been walking.
Kathy watched in horror as Jason's body lurched forward. His feet went up into the air as his body angled toward the sidewalk, face first. He looked like one of those cartoon characters when they slip and fall. His latte shot from his hand, exploding onto the concrete in a flood of milk and espresso, barely missing her and her two kids.
As Jason went sprawling toward the ground, he had only one thought: protect your face. Throwing his hands out in front of him, he slammed onto the concrete with tremendous force (from his brisk walking speed). Kathy watched as Jason's body laid spread out on the sidewalk, motionless and unmoving. River and Boston (her kids) cried out for him, afraid that he had met his untimely demise on the cement beneath them.
Jason began to pick himself up, and had managed to save his face, or as he calls it, his "money maker," from being smashed in. What he did not save, however, were his two wrists that he had thrown in front of him for protection.
For those of you who don't know this, Jason is severely accident prone. In the 9 years we have been together, he has:
1.) Fallen off a bar stool while trying to put up fake cobwebs for a Halloween party and "broke his ass"
2.) Dislocated his shoulder from standing on a toilet seat while trying to remove Orlando Bloom from the wall.
3.) Had his knee "fall out" from walking around Comic Con for 4 days.
4.) Dislocated and fracture his wrist from Wonder Woman falling on top of him for a group Halloween photo.
While Jason stood up, Kathy noticed the "not pleasant angle" his left wrist was portraying. Having just healed from its run in with Wonder Woman 4 months earlier, it seemed that the Great Fall of 2014 (this is what I am labeling this incident as), had made it even worse.
Worried for his life, it is Jason after all, Kathy ushered him into her Rav and raced him to the emergency room down the street. One crazy emergency room lobby, one asshole doctor who proceeded to shake Jason's wrist to determine "how injured he was," a painful round of X-Rays, and five hours later, it was determined that he had multiple fractures in both wrists and a dislocated wrist to boot.
I got home to a miserable Jason with two arms wrapped in splints. Over the weekend, I nursed him as much as I could, and with the help of Kathy (who apparently felt guilty for Jason being hurt over taking Boston to the bathroom) we got Jason in to Orthopedics where it was determined that he will need to surgically have metal plates put in both arms. Translation, Jason can beat himself up better then Wonder Woman could.
As you reflect on your Valentine's Day, and think of what it means to you, I ask you to ponder one thing. Corinthians 13 will tell you that love is patient, kind, not jealous, and a whole mess of other crap. I know. People use it in their wedding ceremonies all the freaking time. But you wanna know what I think love is? Love is feeding your partner, because they can't lift their arms, as you watch your own food get cold. Love is getting up several times during the night to help your partner go to the bathroom, because they can't get their pants off or wipe themselves without your help. Love is stopping what you are doing to itch your partners head, help them blow their nose, or making them a water bottle necklace so they have something to drink because they can't do it themselves.
I won't lie to you. It is frustrating as hell. But these are things you accept when dating a klutz. And I do it, because there is no one else on this earth I love more.
