I never thought this would happen to me . . . .
No, it hasn't been so long since I have blogged last that I forgot how to write. Today is a huge milestone in the world of me. I have done the unthinkable. I have concurred my own crazy. I have managed to stay in a committed relationship for 10 years.
I know. I am as shocked as you are.
I am not the kind of person you would call "relationship material." First I want to be cuddled up next to you, soaking up all of you that I can. Next I am ready for bed and God help you if any portion of your body touches me while I am trying to fall asleep. At one moment I want to go on a date, maybe to a fancy restaurant. Next I need to go home because using a public bathroom to "evacuate the dance floor" is not my idea of a good time. It's like I am that song Hot and Cold by Katy Perry . . . . on repeat . . . . for eternity. #BeingAGemini
Apparently the stars aligned, fate sprung its master plan, and I cashed in all my dumb luck coupons to meet someone who is just as crazy as I am. The best part is I didn't even want to date at first. Neither of us wanted something serious. And here we are, ten years later, happily driving each other crazy because that is what a relationship is. That is of course, unless you have only been together for a couple years.
You can spot a new couple a mile away, whether it be the visual clues they give you or the things that they say. Some people find it cute. Others find it nauseating. And for those of us who have evolved from that concept, we like to sit and laugh about how we use to be and deny that we were ever like that.
Don't know what I am referring to? Are you yourself in a new relationship? Let me give you some examples:
Year One: You come home to lit candles because your partner has made you a romantic dinner. These moments usually lead to some "brown chicken brown cow."
Year Ten: You come home to lit candles because your partner has "blown up" the bathroom from all that Thai food they had. Suddenly fornication is the farthest thing from your mind.
Year One: While eating dinner, you feed your partner because there is some part of you that finds it cute and adorable.
Year Ten: While eating dinner, you feed your partner because they broke both their arms and can't do it themselves.
Year One: You spot dirty dishes in the sink your partner forgot to do and think its time for a long sit down discussion about priorities and their investment in this relationship.
Year Ten: You spot dirty dishes in the sink your partner forgot to do and you breathe deeply, reminding yourself that they took out the garbage, put the kids to bed, changed the laundry, and whatever else that just doesn't make it worth the fight.
Year One: Your friends want to have a night out, and you decline because you would rather stay home with your partner.
Year Ten: Your friends want to have a night out, and you flock to this like the salmon of San Juan Capistrano.
Year One: Your fights are usually silly fights that drag on for years to follow like: What do you mean you watched Game of Thrones without me? or YOU ATE MY LAST OREO?!?!?!?!
Year Ten: Your fights are usually silly fights that drag on for hours like: What do you mean you don't remember where you put the remote? or YES HUH KEVIN BACON WAS IN FOOTLOOSE!!!!!!!!
Year One: When out with other couples, you don't mind showing public displays of affection and tell yourself that you will never be like "that couple" who refuses to do that sort of thing, and you wonder how many years they have been together.
Year Ten: When out with other couples, you may throw out one or two public displays of affection, but they are always timed correctly, because you don't want to be "that couple" that everyone is staring at and wondering how many months they have been together.
Year One: You celebrate things like: your first kiss, first date and first time we had sex (sometimes all in the same night)
Year Ten: You celebrate things like: got to level 410 on Candy Crush, lost 20 lbs., and took the biggest shidoobie of your life (sometimes all in the same night)
To be fair, there is nothing wrong with Year One couples. The people who tease you about it have all been there before, and the malicious ones are really just being envious. And to all my friends that are reaching their relationship decade or who passed it years ago, their is one thing we have over Year One couples:
Year One: When you get those moments to look at your relationship in your mind, you feel like you have forever and sometimes that feels overwhelming and scary. Sure you may have dated a long time, but there is a lot of not knowing because you haven't been through a lot together.
Year Ten: When you get those moments to look at your relationship in your mind, you feel like you don't have nearly enough time and that thought regularly terrifies you and makes you sad. Fortunately, The trust has grown exponentially because of all the things you have been through (illnesses, family death, buying a house, huge fights, huge make-ups). And when those terrifying moments come, you simply drift your hand across the bed and touch that person you can't see yourself living without, because it may be sad losing that person, but it's always comforting knowing that they are there.
. . . . . unless of course I'm trying to sleep, then all hell breaks loose.
