Con de Replay #1

How was Comic Con? I got to hug a Stormtrooper. If that doesn't say it all, stop reading this post, because the rest of the subject matter will bore you. For those of you sticking around, I know what you're thinking and yes, of course I got a picture.

First thing I said after taking it was, "There's my new blog pic." And so it came to be.

Walking around a convention center with 130,000 people was not an easy task. When I wasn't distracted by all the cool merchandise or costumes like an ADHD kid at Disneyland, I was desperately resisting the urge to elbow some nerd right in the joystick. People at Comic Con bump into you more then men at a gay bar. If you are claustrophobic in crowds, Comic Con is not the place for you.

So why go? Once you get past the hoard of geeks, it is freaking AMAZING. There is never a dull moment with Comic Con. Every time I go, I end up having stories for days. And so, Story #1: The Road to Hawkeye.

Last year I made a deal with Lesley, whom you should remember from previous posts. I told her that if we got tickets to Comic Con, we would dress up together. Like any good BFF, she was in. I started listing off
the steps in order to properly execute this plan. Step 1: Find a costume partner. Check. That one was easy.

Step 2: Figure out who you want to dress up as. This was also not very difficult. With The Avengers movie on the horizon, there was only one costume duo I had in mind, Hawkeye and the Black Widow. If you have
no clue what I am talking about, stop reading this blog immediately, and go see The Avengers. Seriously. It’s the number one grossing movie of all time. There are only 5 of you left in the world who haven’t watched it. Do you really want to be the last person on earth who hasn't seen it?

I present my idea to Lesley. Her response, "I want to go as Emma Frost."

My reply, " . . . . . ."

After a very thorough debate, Lesley had raised some valid, though whiny, arguments. It was like that scene in E.T. when the boys are talking Gertie into dressing as a ghost so that E.T. can go trick-or treating with them.

Her: Getting a black jumpsuit and strapping guns to your leg is kinda boooooring. Anyone can do it.

Me: Its cheap, comfortable and you would look hot.

Long story short, I convinced her that sexy redheads were in this year, and promised we would do Emma Frost and Cyclops next year.Lesley begrudgingly agreed. Which moved my plan to Step 3: Costume
design.

This is the part of the story that is boring. I'm going to give you the highlights so I don't lose you. Choose a version of Hawkeye. I hate purple. Ultimates version rocks. I can't sew. Oh no I'm fucked. Wait Don Daniels is a costume genius. Plead with Don for his help. He's in. Step 3: check.

Then came Step 4: Lose weight so I look like Hawkeye and not Chunky-guy. I now feel like one of those actors who lost or gained weight for a role. I lost 36lbs just so I could look awesome at Comic Con. I'm not gonna lie to you good reader. I became one of the people I use to make fun of. Because of my commitment to this costume, I’ve now actually used the phrase: "I'm not drinking because it's too many calories and I don't need the carbs." I even chewed a Snickers for 10 seconds and then spit it out, just so I could get the flavor without it ruining my progress. But don’t worry about me having an eating disorder or anything. Seriously. I am eating a Blooming Onion from Outback right now.

Eric had one waiting for me when I got home because he knew I hadn't eaten one in 3 months. But I digress. For those of you who would like a visual aid, before:

After:

Then came Step 5: Alter hair to match costume. This was funny. Bleaching and cutting off my hair was not a big deal. I have done it so many times over the years that I knew the strawberry blonde shade works for me. It was shaving off my beard that was the kicker. For the last 8 years I have had some type of facial hair. There are people reading this that have only known me with goatee or beard. I took pictures just so you could see the evolution of my facial hair in reverse. 2012:

 2006:

 2003:

I know. I look totally different. I look so much younger. This is so weird. Etc. Trust me. I have heard them all. But just to answer the two questions lingering in your mind: yes, I am growing my facial hair back because I hate not having it and no, I am not keeping this hair color but rather going
a deeper red.

With all my steps completed, I surveyed the fruits of my labor. Ultimate Hawkeye:

Me:

Best comment goes to my stylist (yes, I have a stylist and she is amazing, so if you need one I will gladly share mine) Heather Weppler with "I saw your picture on Facebook, and I just have to say . . . . You look fucking HOT. I was amazed. I was like 'Oh My God' it was that good." After cheating on her and going to another stylist, she still compliments me. That is a true friend. I heart her face.

Walking the Con with Lesley and Millie was fun. Some folks were amused by the Avengers “Family” walking around. I mean, it’s not every day that you get to see a tiny Black Widow sitting on Hawkeye’s shoulders eating a bag of Doritos while holding a gun. And of course we got some idiots who didn't even know who were (but I told those 4 people to go see the Avengers too, so really, you are going to be the last person if not already). I did enjoy seeing Lesley give the “Are you f*cking kidding me?” face when she got called Dark Phoenix.

I don't see it.

Here are my 4 costume highlights:

1.) As soon as Lesley got there, we decided it was our moment to take pictures while the lighting was good and the crowds were low. As we start posing for our own pictures, waves of people kept coming up to take our picture. It was like we were in a photo shoot for EW. But, it is also where we got these 3 epic shots.

2.) While standing in line, a couple who had gone as Black Widow and Thor but cross-dressed passed by. The guy took one look at Lesley and blurted out, "We so need a picture of us like we are those catty bitches
fighting at prom because they wore the same dress."

3.) During a Starbucks break, they called out: "I have two Iced Trenta Green Teas for Black Widow and Hawkeye." The whole line was laughing as I went to grab our drinks.

4.) This was my favorite moment of the Con. I had gone a large portion of the day with people not recognizing who I was, but then, an 8 year old boy dressed as Captain America ran over to me and asked if he could take a picture with me. I called Lesley over to join the photo, and our mini Captain
America got a huge smile on his face. Lesley and I crouched down in our fighting pose, and Cap raised his shield as his mother took the picture. He thanked both of us and ran back to his mother, who also thanked us for taking a picture with her son. While that picture may have made his day, it certainly made mine. My Grinch heart grew two sizes . . . maybe two and a half.