Chapter 1: Come Fly With Me
I love when vacations start at 4am. The only people who are up at this hour are crazy people (ie my parents), Starbucks workers and God. I have come to adopt the theory that nothing good happens at 4am. No large amounts of money are won. No big parties occur. All phone calls received are usually bad news. And because nothing good happens at the butt-crack of dawn, there is absolutely no point in being awake at that time. Unfortunately for me, our flight was scheduled to leave at 6:30 and that was the hour that had been selected to depart for Ontario International Airport.
By the time we reached the airport, I was awake. I didn't feel on top of the world, but the urge to punch babies had definitely decreased. I remember Eric telling me not to take the full bottle. But, enjoying my alert status and knowing it would wear off soon, I decided to take the entire thing fearing that I would crash before I reached the boat. I don't know what was in that tiny bottle, but it could have been cow piss for all I cared at that moment. Ten minutes later I started experiencing the delirium giggles, where anything could be considered funny for no rhyme or reason. I am told this is when I am at my most fun. It's like being drunk, yet totally coherent and not telling people how much I like them for ten minutes. Too bad 5-Hour Energy doesn't make a diet version.
This sent everyone into a panic. Five people in our party were concerned that we weren't going to make it onto the boat. Two people began planning some type of plan B to get us to Seattle. One asshole pumped on "God Knows What" was upset that he could have slept for two more hours.
After fighting with the workers in the terminal for ruining her vacation, my mother-in-law had discovered that she had brought us to the wrong airline. As it turns out, American Airlines had bought out Alaskan Airlines and our online reservations were under the main company's name. Only at the bottom of our tickets did it read, Alaska. It was at this moment, that I thought it would have been more convenient and less confusing if they had put that creepy picture of Chester the Eskimo on their tickets, instead of just on the tail of thier planes. After much complaining from the Colby Clan, we proceeded to a different terminal and making it just in time to check in.First to check their luggage was Jason's parents. Unfortunately no one else could check in because Donna held all of our flight information. While weighing their luggage, one of the suitcases was three pounds over the limit. The clerg handed Donna her garment bag and asked her to take some of the stuff out of her suitcase and put it in here. She looked at the man behind the desk and told him that was out of the question.
"Okay, but we will have to charge you an extra $30 dollars for this suitcase," he replied.
Donna turned to Wayne and told him to take out whatever it was in her suitcase that made it that heavy. The extra weight of their suitcase was later blamed on Closed Captioning (Wayne Colby, JR) because he had asked his parents to bring his jacket that he forgot.
As Jay's parents moved to the side to figure out their luggage situation, the man behind the counter asked to take the next person. I glanced at Susan and her daughter Michelle, who made no advancements towards the counter. Not wanting to waste time, and tired of standing around, I approached the desk with Jay.
Because we were leaving on a seven day cruise where we had to dress up for some of it, both of us had a suitcase and a garment bag. Some people make fun of us when we travel for bringing so many pieces of luggage. But then, those people just got told that their luggage was to heavy. The down side of having wto pieces of luggage a person was the fact that they charge you $20 a bag.
"You know," he said. "For $100 dollars, I can upgrade you to first class where its free to check in your luggage."
"Is that $100 a person," I asked.
"No," he replied. "That's all together."
Even at 4am, my mind quickly deduced that for an additional $20 Jay and I could fly first class to Seattle. Without getting any confirmation from Jay, I yelled out, "SOLD!"
That's when the bitching started. Susan got mad that we cut in front of her and got the opportunity to fly first class (when in reality, I was the one who had got in line behind Donna and she was the one who cut up to the front). Donna was angry that nobody told her she could have had the same opportunity and it was Wayne's fault for not packing her suitcase right. Wayne wanted to just get on the damn airplane. But Jay and I didn't give a shit, because we were now flying first class.
I will tell you know, first class is awesome. I would do this again for the leg room alone. Not to mention, the comfort of those damn seats. For those of us who are Sasquatches with a lot of "junk in their trunks," First Class is the answer to our prayers. Neither Jay or I felt that normal sore body feel when we reached Seattle. We were served breakfast and drinks in real dishes and silverware, not plastic ones. We were offered drinks any time we wanted them. And for the first time since I was little, I wasn't very nervous to be getting on a plane. It was the perfect start to our Alaskan Adventure.
It did work out that the rest of our group was also able to upgrade to first class. But what can I say, I have always been a trend setter.
Sipping coffee in our First Class seats
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