The problem with same sex relationships is that if you have been together for a certain amount of time, you don't know what to refer to each other as. Dating seems like such a minimal term for someone you've been with for over three years. Married doesn't have them same ring to it when your country wont recognize your relationship. And I don't care what people say, the term partner should only be used for business men and law enforcement, not the person that you fornicate with on a regular basis.
I first had trouble labeling my relationship when I started my Facebook account. There were so many options and none of them felt right. Naturally the best label, and the one I picked, was "It's Complicated." Apparently when you label your relationship as "It's Complicated," it causes panic and discord throughout your friends list. I got dozens of worried phone calls, inquiring text messages, and consoling comments. A normal person would have changed their relationship status so people wouldn't worry. I on the other hand, saw a great opportunity to fuck with all of my friends with one simple act.
Jump forward to yesterday. Yes, changing my relationship status to single was an April Fools joke. If Jason and I ever did break up . . . hold on a second, I have to knock on some wood (that's what she said), posting it on Facebook would not be how I let everyone know. My crafty mind thought: Hey, this is a great opportunity to mess with everyone I know. And the people that do know me, will get the joke and hopefully play along.
Here are my responses to the comments I got:
Marlena-Mae: For someone who plays practical jokes on her family, I expected more of a reaction from you. Maybe you don't get my sense of humor yet. Expect to see more pranks from me so you can fully understand the twisted mind that I have.
Janelle Civitarese: The first person to get that it was an April Fools joke. I award you kudos. Also for this text message I got from you: "Lol, my next comment was going to be 'damn it Jason! Why did you have to eat his snicker egg."
Scott West: If you're going to bad mouth Jason, make sure people know you and get your sense of humor. I had several people wanting to hunt you down yesterday (which furthered my amusement, thank you).
Beverly Stuart: This is why I love Facebook. Even though I haven't seen you in over ten years, you still drop by and leave your condolence. Thanks Bev. I feel a little guilty for tricking you.
Samantha McGuire: Who clicks the like button on a break-up post? That was priceless. It made me laugh. Half a kudos to you.
Chris Steimle: I'm sure if we had hung out more then four hours at a coffee shop, you would have caught on to the joke. Thanks for the sympathy though.
Alysa Majer: Your "Hmmmm . . ." comment leads me to believe that you not only suspected the joke, but considered the fact that I may actually be serious. You are tricky person to full with that big valedictorian brain of yours, but rest assured, I will get you one day.
Christine Riggs: If Jay and I ever do break-up, I am coming to you for words of encouragement . . . and Buffy marathon. Joss Whedon is the best cure for a broken heart.
Jessica Rice-Granillo: I can't beat you at scramble with friends. I can't trick you on April Fools day. If you weren't smoking hot with a sassy attitude, I would have left your ass years ago. ;-)
Gil Fierro: You are a Gulli-Bull. But, you're still my Gulli-Bull. :-)
Jon Warriner: You're more like a Gulli-calf. And thank you for offering a supportive ear. I appreciate that.
Stephanie Dieckmann: You were the first person to bypass Facebook, text me directly, and ask if I was okay. I couldn't ask for a better friend then that, and I do feel a little guilty for not letting you in on the joke.
Eric Cullen: Thank you for not only getting the joke, but immediately going along with it when Jodi texted you, asking if this was real. This is why you're my partner in crime. You just go along with the joke, even when you have no idea about it.
Jodi Daugherty: . . . . You're Pretty. :-)
Amy Fish: Thank you for texting me to make sure I was, as you put it, "April-foolzing the world." And even more so, thank you for not telling your husband so he could be fooled too.
Brian Fish: For texting me while I was writing this, just to make sure I was kidding. To the guy who will be best man at my wedding, rest assured that if something happened, you would be one of the first phone calls.
Kelly Vanhoy: Thanks for taking time from your birthday to be fooled by me. I appreciate that.
Lennah Fisher: Thank you for being ready to cut someone, if I wasn't in fact joking. ;-)
Heather LaBudda: Yes, I wouldn't let you know by Facebook. It would be over drinks and hookah so we could commiserate together.
Jessica Pollard: The one person who actually made me feel full on guilty when she gave me a big hug at work and told me everything was going to be okay. I promise not to pull another prank on you for a good six months.
Tiffany Schachter: To not only getting the joke, but using it as your own attempt to play a joke on me. I have taught you well, young padawan. Nice try.
Lesley-Anne Danger Moore North Daniels: I love that you heard this through the rumor mill, had to check it for yourself, started to cry, and then realized I was full of it and called me an asshole. But come on. If I can trick a friend of sixteen years even for a second, that is an accomplishment in its self.
Alex and Lesley Kantola: You may have seen through my clever ruse (look it up in the dictionary, Alex), but rest assured I got a whole bag of trickery with your name on it.
To everyone I didn't mention because my account deleted the post and I have no record of it, I say: GOTCHA!!!!!!
To everyone who wasn't sure I was joking and didn't want to risk messaging me (like Don Daniels), I leave you with this. If I ever see a moment to trick you . . . . know that I always go for it, and that I officially reminded you of that today.
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